Why?
by RosePetal7
Summary: All I felt was pain...Why did it have to hurt this much? Nick's there when Sara loses her new found happiness...Season 13 and 14
1. Chapter 1

Takes place in season 13 and 14. I have to admit, I wish I didn't have these kind of ideas pop into my head and remain there until written. That said, this one's upsetting, but had to get done.

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Pain.

All I felt was pain.

Why?

That's the only question I could ask. I thought my time to suffer was over. I finally moved on. I was starting my life over.

It's unbelievable how quickly something can be taken away from you. I was starting to feel happy, truly happy. It had been awhile since I felt so content. And then it was gone.

Why did it have to hurt this much?

All I felt was pain.

Pain.

CSI CSI CSI CSI CSI CSI CSI

"You alright, Sara?" Nick's words echoed off the tiled walls and into the stall that I was currently occupying.

Against my will, I was sitting on the floor with my head over the toilet. I raked my hands through my hair and blew out a breath. The nausea had subsided, though barely, so I answered, "Yeah, I'm doing okay."

Apparently my answer didn't convince him in the slightest.

"I would have to disagree with that—" I jumped at the squeak of the stall door. Two hands cupped my shoulders and I turned my head to Nick peering down at me. "You're not okay, Sara."

I blew out another breath, hoping to calm the remaining food that was threatening to rebel.

Nick gave me a sympathetic smile and stroked my hair. "How long have you been in here?"

With a shrug of my shoulders, I hesitated, "Uhh…an hour or so. Maybe? I don't know."

"Let me help you up." He supported my waist as I braced my arms against the stall. The little energy that remained got me up but not before I stumbled. Luckily he caught me. "Whoa! I got you! I'm taking you home. There's no way you're working tonight."

I wasn't about to object. This mess of a bathroom gathering topped the others that happened this week. The exception to this one was that I was found out.

The trip to the truck went by in a bit of a blur. I remember Nick simultaneously holding me while explaining to D.B. what was happening. As usual D.B. voiced his concern and wished me well. Before I knew it, the truck was moving and I was leaning my head against the window. The images of the passing world made me dizzy. Sweat formed on my forehead. I absentmindedly wiped the perspiration and continued to deep breathe.

"We're here," Nick whispered.

I sucked in a breath and opened my eyes. We were parked in my driveway. Nick patted my hand and climbed out of the driver's seat. I blinked my eyes and attempted to rub the kink out of my neck.

"Let's get you to bed." I eased out of the seat as Nick led me to the front door. With his spare key he let us in. He set my purse on the table. I didn't even remember him stopping in the locker room to grab it.

"I'll get some water and crackers. You feel good enough to change into sweats?" I nodded my head and he returned a smile. "I'll meet you in a sec."

He was being so sweet to me. Not that I would expect anything less of Nick; although his actions panged me. I hadn't been treated like this since—

"Here ya go," Nick said as he placed a glass of water and a plate of crackers on my nightstand. The trashcan appeared beside my bed. He gave an "ah ha" look and retrieved my cell from his pocket. "Almost forgot this. If you need anything, don't hesitate to call or text me. I'll be over in a flash." He gave a quick kiss on my head. "Feel better, sweetie." With that he was gone

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This one will be three or four chapters. I hope I don't scare you away...;)


	2. Chapter 2

Extremely short but quick update :) Thanks for the reviews and follows. Means a lot!

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I knew that I was pregnant. I knew before I took the test. I knew after the first day of throwing up at work. I never get sick…well, not like this I don't.

It had been our "last time." He came home after my whole birthday, accused of murder fiasco. We did it for "old time's sake." I recall the whole situation being very…bleak because we both knew that it would be the last time we'd see each other in this light. Of course we confessed our love for each other. Love as strong as ours couldn't dissipate. It would always be there. Unfortunately our love wasn't strong enough to break the current living situation. After our short-lived reunion, we parted.

About a week ago I started to feel...weird. That's when I knew. It had been a couple of months. It only made sense.

I think up until today I was in shock…denial…I was dealing with the fact that my marriage to the love of my life was over. As a result, I became more invested in my cases, but I had been going out with the guys nonetheless. My mind became preoccupied on something other than Gil Grissom. I was starting to feel happy, truly happy.

I dropped a hand to my stomach. The other hand held the positive pregnancy test.

"The evidence never lies."

I could only laugh out loud. To this day he's still right. The test is proof.

I think my feelings of shock and denial were only to be expected after what I've endured. This baby is not only the result of our love, but might be the key to our problem. I'm already seeing how this baby could make us whole. This baby could make us really see life for what it has to offer; a second chance. Maybe he would share this vision with me. Maybe we still have a chance…

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More as soon as I can!


	3. Chapter 3

Eeek! I had to update. Even though it might shock you, I hope you somewhat enjoy it...

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The doctor confirmed the pregnancy before I left for San Francisco. I was eight weeks along. My age labeled me a "risk" patient so an ultrasound was performed. The baby was growing as it should.

From San Francisco to Las Vegas, I kept the secret to myself. I needed time to adjust before I told him. I needed time to figure out what exactly I wanted to say. I needed time to accept the fact that he might not share this vision with me—

A ringing brought me out of my thoughts. "Hello?" I answered my phone without looking at the ID.

"Hey, Sar. How's San Fran treating you?"

A smile graced my lips. "Hey, Nicky. I'm having a great time. How's it there? I miss you guys already."

He chuckled, "That's wonderful. Same old here. Nothing too much going on…well, at least not yet. Ya know, whenever we say that, something always immediately follows."

I inwardly sighed. "Ain't it the truth. Well, I'm glad everything's quiet there at the moment. Take advantage of that!"

"I will!" He paused for a second. "You sound really happy, Sara."

The smile took over my face.

"I am. It's been awhile since I felt so content. I think this trip has added to my uh content-ness."

I wasn't lying.

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The time away in San Francisco cleared my head. The trip did me well. The hearing was as black and white as it gets. Luckily I was in and out. The remaining few days I was able to relax.

I already loved this baby. I decided to tell him when I got back to Vegas.

I couldn't help the tears from falling when I held the ultrasound photo. This was really happening and I couldn't be happier. After eating and showering, I would call him.

Fortunately the pasta stayed down. I waited a few minutes just to be sure then I got in the shower. The photo was placed on the countertop. The water had just turned from warm to hot when a pain shot through my abdomen. This took the breath right out of me. Steam was beginning to form around me. I breathed in through my nose and out through my mouth. The pain only lasted a few seconds. I remembered the doctor saying some cramping was normal. Out of relief, I was about to sit down when my heart sank.

Red.

All I saw was red.

Blood was streaming down my legs and swirling down the drain. I squeezed my eyes shut, praying to god it was all just a dream.

This couldn't be happening.

Although I was scared like I'd never been before, I opened my eyes. I cried out in pain as the blood continued to swirl. Another pain shot through my abdomen. Shaking, I reached for the countertop and grabbed my phone. "Hey, Sara. How's it going?"

Shock. "I didn't get to tell him."

"What? Didn't get to tell who what?"

"It's gooone!" More pain rippled through my body. I did my best to compose myself. Angrily, I swiped at the endless tears. "I didn't get to tell him."

"Sara, sweetie, you're scaring me. What's happening?"

"It's g-g-gone," I stuttered. I threw the phone against the wall and crawled back into the shower. I couldn't stand to have the blood on me. I couldn't see it. I couldn't smell it. I needed to keep washing it away. I needed to wash all the pain away.


	4. Chapter 4

Here's the final chapter :/ I am so grateful for everyone's follows and reviews. Those things keep writers motivated :) I'm sorry the plot turned out this way, but at least Nick can be there for Sara.

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I started rocking myself back and forth. With arms around my knees, I rocked and cried. It's gone.

It's gone.

"Sara?!" The voice screamed.

It's gone.

"Where are you?!" The voice bellowed.

It's gone.

"Sara?" The voice asked.

I felt his presence.

"It's gone."

Nick squatted beside me. He caressed my cheek with his fingers. "Sweetie, what's gone?" The softest gasp came from his mouth.

"Sara, please talk to me." He placed his hand on mine.

I kept rocking back and forth. My body shivered. He stood and looked around. He must've found the towels in the cabinet. His body stilled. There was little movement. That's when I knew. He found the ultrasound photo.

The tears cascaded. With my knees brought to my chest, I cried with my head down. Sobs filled the room and I continued rocking. All I had to do was keep rocking. The rocking got me through the fighting. The rocking worked after the trips to the hospital. Rocking would take me out of this nightmare.

Nick placed a towel on me. "Sweetie," he moaned with my sobs. His hands grabbed my shoulders and hoisted me up. My body fell onto the shower wall. He wrapped the towel around my body and enveloped me in his warm, comforting arms.

"I…I l-lost the b-baby," I sobbed as I grabbed onto his shirt. "And I d-didn't get t-to tell him." I sniffed. "W-we'll never have our second chance."

CSI CSI CSI CSI CSI CSI CSI

Pain.

All I felt was pain.

Why?

That's the only question I could ask. I thought my time to suffer was over. I finally moved on. I was starting my life over.

It's unbelievable how quickly something can be taken away from you. I was starting to feel happy, truly happy. It had been awhile since I felt so content. And then it was gone.

Why did it have to hurt this much?

All I felt was pain.

Pain.

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Fin


End file.
